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So I was just mulling over why Mel has been calling me so much lately. Wondering what to read into it, wondering if the fact that Iapos;m usually busy and ignore her when she calls has anything to do with her calling more. Then she sends me a txt and invites me over to dinner at her place. How am I supposed to make sense of that? Iapos;m so completely torn, part of me still knows the best course of action is to just cut her out of my life because itapos;ll mean less pain in the long run. Iapos;ll get over her (finally) and maybe move on with my life, find someone else, but no matter how much I think that, scream it in my head, I canapos;t say no to her. Iapos;m always optimistic for the long shot even though I know the odds are massively stacked against me.

Iapos;m a tool.
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